Just Do It

 

Just Do It.

What an empowering statement that is! I mean, is supposed to be.

The word “Just”  is used casually in society without a lot of thought behind the meaning of the word and its powerful intention. 

The word “just” is an adverb that means “simply”. 

But that’s the issue, right?

For so many moms, hearing “Just Do It” doesn’t empower, it embarasses. Usually, the word “just” is referring to how we are using our time and energy. These are both resources where moms are constantly told to “just” (insert solution here). This can really bring up feelings of shame and frustration because telling a busy mom to “just '' do anything down plays our struggle. A lot of times for moms, it isn’t “simple”.

Let me give you an example:

So my plan was to “just” write this post, because someone told me to “just make the time” and it triggered me.  It’s long been on my heart because I have struggled with being told to “just” do a thing.

So, I “just” blocked an hour of time for writing on Saturday afternoon, when my schedule is usually clear for family chill time. At 9:50AM, my son went into an epileptic seizure.

The seizure itself only lasts a few minutes, and afterwards it doesn’t require a ton of my attention as he recovers through rest. What I was not expecting was that the seizure caused his shoulder to dislocate, which prompted a trip to the hospital and X Rays to determine that he had also fractured his shoulder.

There went my afternoon and the time I had scheduled to “just” write. 

 

But it doesn’t stop there, because I struggled to “just'' reschedule my writing time. With a fractured shoulder, he needed a referral to an orthopedic Dr, which meant time on the phone making appointments, confirming insurance, and actually taking him to the appointment. There we learned that he would need to have surgery, but it required approval from his neurologist, which meant more phone calls and follow ups. 

The list goes on about things that took me away from being able to “just” make time. My week was filled with things that took a lot of my mental energy and by the end of it, all I could do was “just” show up- mostly as a zombie who “just” wanted a nap that there wasn’t enough time for. 

Does that feel familiar?

“Just wake up an hour earlier. Just do it when the baby is sleeping. Just say no. Just make the time.”

In a season of life when you feel like your time and energy are out of your control, it can be really discouraging to have the influencers and the gurus tell you to “just” overcome your obstacles. The mom who is burning the candle at both ends cannot effectively “just” do that! “Just” feels like a luxury. “Just” finding a way is so frustrating to the mom who’s time is not always her own.

Another problem with the word “just” is that it implies that the answer is a small and obvious one. Oftentimes the “just” we get is a small and obvious answer, but it's also one we’ve already tried. A generalized, even well-intended “just” doesn’t always fit into your unique life circumstances, and that’s ok! 

What if “just” felt like a tool instead of a weapon?

One of the most important ways to remove the sting of the word “just” is to take control of how it is used in your life.  When we embrace being a (mostly) managed mommy, the word  “just” gives us space to show up at our own personal best. Taking ownership of “just” allows you to know your limits and not be held to an impossible standard that doesn’t fit your reality. Releasing the icky feeling and knowing that “just” can also be used to set a boundary and grant ourselves permission is what (mostly) managing is all about!

So here’s how you can do that:

Just listen to your intuition.

Just embrace the moment.

Just do your best.

Just give yourself grace.